Mbesan Wedding Tradition in Banyumas, Banjarnegara, Cilacap and Purbalingga (Study of Culture and Religion)

This article wants to reveal the phenomenon of wedding traditions that exist in the Karesidenan area of Banyumas (Banyumas, Banjarnegara, Cilacap and Purbalingga). This wedding tradition in called mbesan . In practice, this mbesan tradition before holding a wedding ceremony at the bride’s house (reception), there is an event such as praying for the bride and groom before sailing the ship of the next life. The mbesan tradition is carried out at the groom's house, but the two brides do not yet have a marriage contract. The purpose of this article is to inform about marriage customs called the mbesan tradition carried out by the people of Banyumas and its surroundings. Apart from that, this article also offers solutions related to the mbesan tradition that does not violate Islamic law. The method used in this research is qualitative with phenomenological, sociological and cultural approaches. The results of this study found that in the mbesan tradition which has become the customs of the people of Banyumas, Cilacap, Purbalingga and Banjarnegara there are sides that are not in accordance with Islamic teachings because in practice the bridegroom and bride carry out the event at the groom but both have not yet carried out the marriage contract. It is feared that this will lead to slander such as gossiping about neighbors and what is more extreme is adultery.


A. INTRODUCTION
Marriage is a series of events that are considered sacred by everyone who goes through it.This is because marriage is only attempted once in a lifetime lasting until death do them part.So that weddings or what we often call receptions are celebrated in such a way as to capture the beautiful moments with your partner.The series of events in a wedding reception also varies according to each region.It is not uncommon for events that are held in a wedding to still follow the customs/traditions of the past.As for the existing wedding traditions, there are also those that are contrary to Islamic teachings.In the following, we describe some of the wedding traditions that are still thick with regional traditions.
The description of the wedding tradition written by Ikhlasotul Amalia is the "Besan Flour" tradition in Gedangan Village.In this besan flour event there are several series of activities such as visiting or visiting the besan (in-laws) house and bringing a number of foods in the form of side dishes and other substitute foods in the wakul and carried out seven days after the implementation of walimah 'ursy alternately between the bridegroom's family groom and bride's family.This custom practiced by the people of Gedangan Village is accepted by many people and does not conflict with Islamic Shariah (Amalia et al., 2021).
This mbesan tradition is also found in Kalidadi Village, Kalirejo, Central Lampung.The mbesan tradition begins with the women coming to the men's side with gifts or snacks.The purpose of this mbesan tradition is to strengthen the ties of friendship between the two parties.As for the implementation of the mbesan tradition, it is permissible in Islamic Shariah because in practice, the goals, wisdom, pillars and conditions do not conflict with Islamic teachings.In addition, the local community can also accept the mbesan tradition (Amelia, 1967).
In this case, Safrudin Aziz also provides an overview regarding Javanese traditional wedding traditions and rituals, namely the Keraton Surakarta and Yogyakarta.Most Javanese people do not know the value contained in existing rituals.In fact, if we examine it academically, every ritual that has become the habit of our predecessors has a philosophical and ethical value.We know that the purpose of marriage is to form a sakinah, mawaddah and rohmah family.Sakinah in the sense of a calm, peaceful and peaceful family is the ultimate goal of marriage as contained in Javanese traditional wedding traditions and rituals.The tradition of watching as a symbol of ta'aruf (knowing each other process) between the future wife and her future husband.Install the tarub as a means of announcing the implementation of the wedding as well as a media to strengthen silaturrahmi ties by gathering relatives and neighbors to obtain prayers, blessings and blessings for the two brides.Likewise, the sepasar tradition is a form of gratitude to the Creator.In the sepasaran tradition, it also contains the value of sharing good fortune after the end of the wedding ceremony.As for strengthening the heart in choosing a partner through consideration, calculation and understanding of the similarities in character, vision and life mission of each couple is the provision to build a sakinah family as contained in the symbolic message of Javanese wedding traditions and rituals (Aziz, 2017).
If we look at the wedding traditions in North Lampung, there is the term pepadun.Pepadun customary marriage in North Lampung which is considered a principle of life in the form of guidelines, regulations that must be obeyed by the community, so that these customs are upheld by indigenous peoples as a cycle in household, community and state life.In Lampung traditional marriages, this pepadun has cultural values of marriage that cannot be abandoned, such as religious values, the value of togetherness through mutual cooperation among citizens, cultural values, values of mutual respect in consensus deliberations and family values.The development of Lampung pepadun traditional wedding culture runs naturally in the informal and non-formal spheres.The traditional culture of Lampung pepadun is taught to every next generation in Lampung, especially North Lampung residents.The traditional pepadun wedding in North Lampung will never be abandoned by the people.This custom is a wedding custom that is always maintained and well preserved to its successors and descendants (Habibi & Kusdarini, 2020).
As a cultural custom, the characteristics in each region must be different.The wedding custom in Pekalongan city is also said to be somewhat different from the wedding custom in Java in general.The stages of the wedding in Pekalongan city include nakokke, sangsangan, nentokke dino, seserahan tukon, midodaren evening, walimah, marriage contract, reception and behind the kloso.The color of wedding customs in the city of Pekalongan that distinguishes it from Javanese custom is that it is permissible to date after the engagement, the series of events seem concise, the word walimah is interpreted as the reading of maulid al-Barzanji before the marriage ceremony, the two brides do not sit side by side at the ceremony, there is the term bedhol gelung, balik kloso, remnants of views, arrears of seme and invitations related to weddings also vary (Maknun, 2013).
From some of the previous studies, we can draw a conclusion that the wedding tradition found in the villages of Gedangan and Kalidadi is still maintained as a culture in the two regions because the two wedding traditions are still in line with Islamic teachings.This means that some of the series that are carried out in the wedding tradition are still within the limits of reasonableness in terms of society and religion.However, it is different from the tradition that the writer found in the Cilacap area, where there is a pre-wedding ceremony that is held at the groom's residence, then the bride is also there to attend a joint prayer event.This tradition is known as mbesan.The problem in the mbesan tradition is that the bride-to-be who has not legally become a wife because the marriage contract has not yet taken place has been asked to be present at the groom's house.Indeed, there are some women who gently reject this tradition because it is considered not in accordance with Islamic teachings.Islamic teachings command that a marriage contract must be carried out first, after that they are free to hold celebrations, parties or receptions as gratitude for the blessings bestowed by Allah SWT.That is the concern of researchers.
Next is how to describe the traditions that exist in that area so that they can be enjoyed by the public in writing or in the form of scientific reading.To dissect social cognition that occurs in the Banyumas community and its surroundings, researchers use a phenomenological approach.According to O. Hasbiansyah, phenomenology was originally a study of philosophy and sociology, then it developed into communication as a type of qualitative research approach.He also explained simply that we often practice this phenomenology in our daily lives (Hasbiansyah, 2008).So, this phenomenological approach can be said that even without any research this approach has been carried out by all communities in their respective regions.Isa Anshori also said that phenomenology is a science used to study human existence.This phenomenology also seeks to uncover subjective meanings.As a science, method and approach, phenomenology seeks to find meaning, placing the individual as a source or giver of meaning, which then produces an action based on experience.In its development, this contemporary phenomenology seeks to reveal various aspects behind social life, including education (Anshori, 2018).
From several previous studies and phenomenological surgical tools, researchers will try to reveal the mbesan tradition found in Banyumas and its surroundings objectively.We will obtain the necessary data through interviews with participants, who are indigenous people of Banyumas Sekaridenan such as the people of Cilacap, Purbalingga and Banjarnegara.
In addition to the phenomenological approach, because the object of this research is the tradition of the community which of course does not leave behind the traditional actors themselves, namely a group of people or their citizens, the approach used in this research is a sociological approach.According to Auguste Comte, the most important part of sociology is social dynamics.Social dynamic is a theory about the development and progress of society (Syukur, 2018).A group of people who have creativity, taste and intention will form a culture.This culture will develop along with the development of technology and communication, especially in this modern era.Muhammad Basri also added that culture is everything that originates from the desires and passions that emerge as interactions between people's relations, for example music, art, religion, science, philosophy and others (Basri, 2021).Included in the cultural category here are wedding traditions in each region, including the mbesan tradition.From this background, in the author's view there is a gap between the mbesan tradition and the purpose of marriage in accordance with Islamic law, namely the presence of the prospective bride in the prospective groom's house before the marriage contract is held.Therefore, a discussion of this phenomenon is needed.

B. LITERATURE REVIEW
The mbesan tradition is a custom in the wedding procession which consists of several series such as nembung, sermon/application, mbalesi, determining the marriage contract, marriage contract and reception.Of course, the term mbesan varies in each region.Likewise, the series of weddings depends on the customs of each region.
Carrying out a series of pre-reception events and during the reception according to custom is not an obligation.This is based on the abilities of both parties, the family of the groom and the bride.Apart from that, the most important thing in carrying out a wedding in accordance with the Islamic religion is fulfilling the marriage requirements, namely the bride and groom, guardian, witnesses, ijab and qobul.
In connection with the study of traditional marriages, Arini tells in her research about the marriage tradition called begalan which is found in one of the Banyumas areas.Arini said that if a family had a daughter-in-law for the first time (before that all the sons-in-law were sons), then a begalan was held before the wedding took place.This begalan custom is carried out by the prospective groom coming to the prospective bride's house bringing several household tools such as the wlira sword (a bat made of areca palm trees), wangkring or mbatan (a carrying tool), ian ilir (woven fan), kukusan (bamboo rice cooker), kekeb (steamer lid), rope, centhong (rice spoon made from coconut shell), irus (vegetable spoon made from coconut shell), siwur (ladle made from coconut shell), pari (rice), muthu-ciri (mortar, mortar) and kendhi (earthen pot).The purpose of this begalan tradition is to ward off evil when entering the household (Rufaida Arini, 2011).
Lain ladang lain belalang, lain lubuk lain ikannya.Proverb which means that each region has its own characteristics.Likewise, the marriage customs of each region are different.The series of wedding customs in Batubara Regency, North Sumatra include merisik (melihat/nadhor), jamu sukut (a banquet for close relatives or neighbors regarding plans to accept the proposal), proposing marriage, delivering betel flowers, marriage, berinai, bersanding, bathing berdimbar and borrowing the bride and groom (Pane, 2020).
The theory used in this research is phenomenological theory.Because what is studied is about society, social phenomena, namely marriage traditions, and traditions or customs.As was done by Sulton Muzadi in his study of kerubahan gunung wedding traditions (Muzadi, 2022).

C. METHOD
The word "method" implies "way.".In this case, the research method means a way to research.In general, research methods are divided into 2, namely quantitative and qualitative.Relative quantitative uses numbers to process research data.While qualitative is more to literature.In qualitative research, the studies discussed are like social phenomena.This social phenomenon can be revealed by means of descriptions and narrations by researchers.Of course, researchers also have a barometer for researching social phenomena in certain areas.This barometer will later lead researchers to reveal the social events that they want to study.
This research on the mbesan tradition in Karisedenan Banyumas was studied using phenomenological, sociological and cultural approaches.A phenomenological approach is used because the mbesan tradition is a social phenomenon that emerged in the communities of Banyumas, Banjarnegara, Cilacap and Purbalingga.The community as the subject of the mbesan phenomenon contributes to the continuity of regional culture and traditions.
In accordance with the study that will be revealed, namely social phenomena, the researcher will dissect it with a phenomenological approach.To obtain data about how the process of the mbesan tradition was carried out, the researcher wrote questions before conducting the interviews.After that, the writer conducted interviews with several participants (male and female) from Banyumas and its surroundings.We reduced the results of the semiformal interviews.The purpose of this data reduction is to obtain valid data without any interference from anyone's thoughts, opinions or ideas, including researchers.
In accordance with Isa Anshori's statement that phenomenology seeks to reveal subjective meanings.What is meant by subjective here is that the data produced is really from the actors of the mbesan tradition, or it can be said that the data is obtained from the original residents of Banyumas and its surroundings, including Cilacap.The data collection techniques are sampling and interview.At that time the researcher conducted an interview with a resident of Sokaraja, Banyumas, regarding the mbesan traditional procession.Researchers also conducted interviews with Cilacap residents who had just held a wedding ceremony.After obtaining the data, the researcher describes the mbesan tradition in detail without adding or subtracting the data that has been obtained.

Definition and Practice of Mbesan Tradition
The mbesan tradition is one of a series of wedding events which is a tradition in the Banyumas sekaridenan area.Those included in the Banyumas secretariat include Purbalingga, Banjarnegara and Cilacap.However, the definition of mbesan varies.The Balinese term besan was found, which means a prohibition on marriage within the in-laws' family.This prohibition applies specifically to male relatives.So, for example, A (male) marries B. Then A's brother will also marry B's brother, that is what is prohibited (Hariyanto, 2022).
In weddings, there are usually a lot of events that are carried out before and after the marriage contract.In general, before the marriage ceremony is carried out, there are a number of events such as nembung, khitbah (applying), ngemblok/visit back/mbalekno application/mbalesi/mbaleni (symbol of the woman's side giving an answer to the man's proposal).After there is an answer, if the answer is "yes", then proceed to determine the wedding date.If the answer is "no", then there is no further event.
In the Banyumas area and its surroundings, the tradition before the marriage contract is also the same as in general.However, there is one program that is different, that is, after the woman answers "yes", then a wedding date is determined, the two families prepare everything needed for their son and daughter's wedding.When approaching the H-day, approximately 1-2 days, usually at the men's house an event such as praying together is already held.This event is called mbesan.In this mbesan event, the women were told to go to the men's place because that night there was a group prayer.This is where there is an imbalance between tradition and Islamic teachings because the bride and groom have not yet been bound by a marriage contract, but the bride is told to go to the groom's house.Some of the women have followed this tradition of mbesan.However, some women also reject this tradition because they are considered not in accordance with Islamic teachings.

The Definition of Walimatul 'Urs according to Islam and The Law of Holding It
The Prophet Muhammad shallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: Meaning: From Anas bin Malik, that the Prophet saw.saw that there were yellow marks on 'Abdur Rahman bin 'Auf.So he asked, "What is this?".He replied, "O Messenger of Allah, I just married a woman with a dowry of a seed's weight of gold."So he said, "May Allah bless you.Hold walimah even though (only) by (slaughtering) a goat".
Meaning: "Let the walimah invitation be carried out on the first day, if the implementation is several days, if invited on the second day, the law to come to him is mustahab, and if invited on the third day the law to come to him is makruh." From the hadith above, we know that the law of holding Walimah 'Urs is sunnah.Then visiting Walimah 'Urs is also still sunnah until the second day.It's different if entering the third day it becomes makruh.This means that if we observe that the longer the Walimah 'Urs celebration does not actually bring blessings, it may even cause worries.Such as disturbing the comfort of neighbours, potentially causing neighbors' jealousy and the most undeniable thing is isrof (excessive/wasteful).
Walimah 'Urs is carried out after the marriage ceremony with the aim of showing gratitude to the Creator for everything that has been given.For the prospective bride and groom, they are given sustenance in the form of being reunited with their partner.For the parents and family of the bride and groom, they are given sustenance in the form of adding a new family, which means that the relationship between the two of them increases.
The mbesan tradition, in practice, is a banquet at the prospective groom's house as proof of gratitude because his son will carry out the Sunnah of the Prophet and in the hope that he will become a Sakinah mawaddah wa rohmah family.This is celebrated as a walimah event at the bride's house.So in this mbesan tradition two laws are found in Islam.Firstly, it is permitted on condition that in practice mbesan is carried out simply, without extravagance and in accordance with the economic capabilities of the groom's family.Second, it is not permitted for the prospective bride to attend the mbesan event.The reason this is not allowed is because the bride and groom have not yet carried out the marriage contract, so there is fear that undesirable things will happen.

Inequality of The Mbesan Tradition with Islamic Sharia
As we know that the Walimatul 'Urs is held after the marriage contract, it means there is Walimah 'Ursy before the marriage contract.In the wedding tradition in Indonesia, in Java and outside Java, there are variations of wedding traditions according to their respective customs.The term and series of events also vary.The pre-wedding ceremony that we often encounter is nembung, khitbah, blocking/ returning visits/ mbalekno proposals/ mbalesi/ mbaleni.Nembung is the initial process when the man invites his parents to convey his good intentions to marry the prospective woman's parents.This nembung is usually internal, they haven't invited the extended family, at least the parents, or someone has invited uncles or trusted people to convey the man's wishes.After the meeting, the man asked the woman again to continue.If the woman has discussed it with her parents and family, then the woman gives the answer to the man.If the answer is "yes", then the next process is for the man to propose to the woman.
This second process, namely the application/khitbah, is when the man's family invites his extended family to come to the woman's house.The series of events in this application include remarks by representatives of the male family to convey their noble intentions, namely proposing to the woman, then representatives of the female family give remarks which contain responding to the good intentions of the man and his family.After that, the process of wearing the engagement ring by a representative of the male family who is in the same mahram as the woman who will wear the engagement ring.
The third process is the answer to the formality of the male application that was carried out previously.The terms in this third process vary.There are those who give the terms ngemblok (Tuban)/visiting back (Banyumas)/mbalek/mbalesi/mbaleni (Sidoarjo) which are all basically the same, namely the symbol of the woman's side giving an answer to the man's proposal.The editor that the researcher uses there is only a symbol or a formality because the majority in the second process (application) usually have also been given an answer to the application through the use of an engagement ring.The next process after the mbalekno application is the majority directly determines the date of the marriage contract which is recommended to be vulnerable not too long from the mbalekno application because of fears that unwanted things will happen.
In Banyumas and its surroundings, when the contract is held, it takes about 1-2 days, usually at the men's house an event such as a joint prayer is held.This event is called mbesan.In this mbesan event, the women were told to go to the men's place because that night there was a group prayer.This is where there is an imbalance between tradition and Islamic Shariah because the bride and groom have not yet been bound by a marriage contract, but the bride is told to go to the groom's house.Some of the women have followed this tradition of mbesan.However, some women also reject this tradition because they are considered not in accordance with Islamic teachings.
The imbalance in the mbesan tradition is because there is no sacred bond between the bride and groom, but the woman is told to attend the event at her future husband's house.Even though the event at the house of her future husband is included in the category of positive events (joint prayer), it is not appropriate for women and men who are not yet married to live in the same house.Islam teaches that after the khitbah process, the marriage ceremony must be hastened with the aim of avoiding unexpected things because the two brides are already in love.
So, the difference between the walimah and the mbesan tradition is that if the walimah is carried out after the contract, the bride and groom are already legal.Meanwhile, mbesan is carried out before the ceremony by inviting the prospective bride to take part in a thanksgiving event at the house of the prospective groom who is not yet legally her husband.
According to the author's paradigm, the mbesan tradition is a form of gratitude for a family, especially the groom's parents, because their son has met his soul mate and will carry out the Prophet's sunnah, namely by getting married.However, the invitation for the prospective bride to also attend the mbesan event is not in accordance with Islamic law.This is because the prospective bride and groom have not yet carried out the marriage contract, so they are not yet legally husband and wife.
The mbesan tradition is a richness of Indonesian culture, especially in Central Java.So, the middle way for this mbesan tradition phenomenon is to reorganize the technical implementation.In this case the author offers two solutions, namely without asking the prospective bride to be present or the next option is to carry out the marriage contract first before the mbesan event is held.When the prospective bride and groom are legal, they are safe from prejudice and unwanted things.

Description of Social Dynamics in The Mbesan Tradition
In this study the people of Banyumas, Cilacap, Banjarnegara and Purbalingga are the subjects of the mbesan tradition.The mbesan tradition for the people of Banyumas and its surroundings has two different understandings.First, there are people who think that this mbesan tradition is a series of wedding events that are carried out when the groom is escorted to the bride's house.When going to the bride's house, the groom's family brings various kinds of necessities for the bride and her family during the wedding ceremony as well as for the needs as provisions in the early days of the household.As for the necessities brought by the groom's family, such as money, offering clothes, jewelry, make-up equipment, furniture (cabinets, chairs, tables, etc.), there are also traditional foods such as jenang, diamonds, sticky rice and market snacks that can be bought by the groom.neatly packed.Second, the community considers that this mbesan tradition is carried out before the contract.This mbesan tradition is carried out at the groom's house.The event held in the mbesan tradition, in this second understanding, is thanksgiving.Some are in the form of a khataman or joint prayer so that the whole series of wedding events will run smoothly and bring blessings to the bride and groom's families.
The second assumption or understanding regarding the practice of the mbesan tradition is also divided into two more.First, the mbesan tradition is carried out before the contract, but the bride and groom are not allowed to come to the groom's house.In Javanese terms "secluded".So that from this understanding, the mbesan tradition does not conflict with Islamic teachings and this tradition must be preserved because it is the local culture of the Banyumas area and its surroundings.Second, the mbesan tradition which is carried out before the contract, but the bride is asked to attend the event which is held at the groom's house.This is done with the assumption that the thanksgiving event or joint prayer held at the groom's house must also be attended by the bride as the subject or actor or shohibul hajat in the wedding ceremony.
From the practice of the mbesan tradition that the researchers described earlier, the picture of the first mbesan tradition is still in the corridor of custom or culture that does not conflict with Islamic teachings, so this needs to be preserved.However, in the practice of the second mbesan tradition, we must first identify whether one of the data subjects, namely the bride and groom, is participating in the traditional mbesan event at the groom's house or not.If the bride and groom do not participate, then this mbesan tradition is similar to the first practice.This means that it is fine if this tradition is still carried out in every wedding ceremony.However, if the bride and groom come to the groom's house, this kind of mbesan tradition must be reviewed.Because even though the event held at the groom's house is an Islamic event, if unwanted things happen before the marriage ceremony is held, then there must be a revitalization of the mbesan tradition based on Islamic Shariah.
However, Amelia said that the mbesan tradition does not conflict with Islamic law.In its development, the mbesan tradition is not only found in Java.However, immigrants continue to preserve this mbesan tradition even though they move to other areas, such as Lampung.The mbesan tradition in Lampung is in accordance with Islamic law because in practice it is carried out after the contract.So mbesan is actually considered a noble innovation because the thanksgiving event will strengthen the ties between two families, namely the husband and wife's family (Amelia, 1967).

D. CONCLUSION
The mbesan tradition is a custom or habit of the people in the Banyumas, Cilacap, Purbalingga and Banjarnegara areas before the marriage ceremony is held.In fact, the sequence in the mbesan tradition is essentially good, but it is not in accordance with Islamic religious norms.One of the series contained in the mbesan tradition is praying together so that the wedding ceremony which will be held in one or two days will run smoothly.The bride and groom also hope that their marriage will be approved and bring blessings to their lives forever.However, what is not in accordance with Islamic teachings is taking the bride to the house of a prospective man who is not yet her husband.With the mbesan tradition, it is feared that it will have a negative impact on the two bride and groom.The negative impact that is most feared is the occurrence of pregnancy out of wedlock due to the position of the two prospective brides under one roof in the groom's house.